FRIDAY AFTERNOON JOKE THREAD

Boy sitting at his fathers death bed, He says Dad Why are you telling people you are dying of Aids when its kidney failure you've got ? Dad replies I look at it this way son , When i die nobody will ever want to f**k your mother.

Dear Japan, its a bit of a b*stard when something sneaks up on you without warning eh ? Love from all the Lads at Pearl Harbour xxxxxxx

After both suffering depression me and the Mrs were going to commit suicide yesterday, But strangely enough once she killed herself i started to feel a lot better so i thought f**k it i'll soldier on.

Rescuers in Japan have called in Elton John, George Michael & Graham Norton to help search through the rubble for injured victims. Their work could prove to be invaluable as they are experts in seeing Japs Eyes covered in shit.!

Saw a sign today that made me piss myself......... TOILETS CLOSED!


Went to a bulimia convention last night ...............The place was heaving.


Just tried the new drink at McDonalds......... The McChristchurch..its a a large shake with loads of crushed Kiwi's

Don't donate any money to the victims of japan!!

I saw a house on the news and they had 2 boats and a plane in there garden!!

Standing at the urinals next to a midget when I noticed him winking at me. I turned my back a bit but when I looked round he was still winking. SoI said what's your problem,do you fancy me or something? He said no, you're splashing my fukkin eye!

The japanese goverment have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out.

They said they were delicious.

Whales & dolphins 1 - 0 Japan

i was speaking to a dyslexic Yorkshire man today ....he was wearing a cat flap

i was speaking to a dyslexic Yorkshire man today ....he was wearing a cat flap

Still laughing! Fair play.

Ah yes! The deaths of thousands of people and the destruction of lives of many more is hilarious!

Very classy.

After both suffering depression me and the Mrs were going to commit suicide yesterday, But strangely enough once she killed herself i started to feel a lot better so i thought f**k it i'll soldier on.