JOKE THREAD FOR TONIGHT

I was playing 20 questions with my mate. He was getting annoyed because I was guessing all his choices quickly. He said, "Right, I've got another one."

I said, "Is it an animal?"

He said, "Yes. If you get this straight away I'm gonna f*cking knock you out."

I said, "Easy, Tiger."

My wife told me she likes role play and acting really dirty in bed.

Apparently dressing up as a gorilla and throwing my shit at her wasn't what she had in mind.

I came home from work early one night to find my wife and my best mate, sweaty and breathless in the living room. I said, "What's going on?"

My wife said, "Erm... We've been playing on the Wii Fit." She winked at my mate and said, "Dave did VERY well."

As I walked out of the room, I heard them giggling and calling me a "dickhead", but I had the last laugh. I checked the next day, and none of his scores had even registered!