Some Dave Jones Jokes

British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Dave Jones.The company think he is suitable because of his regular points failures.

Recently, Dave Jones offered to send the squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they declined. They'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

What is the difference between Dave Jones and the bermuda triangle? A: The bermuda triangle has three points.

Apparantly, Dave Jones is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.-he's been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 20 years.

How many Dave Jones does it take to change a light bulb? A: As many as you like, but they'll never see the light.

What's the difference between a Dave Jones and a broken clock? A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

Why isnt Dave Jones allowed to own a dog? A: Because he can't hold on to a lead.
What's the difference between O J Simpson and Dave Jones? A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence.
What's the difference between the Dave Jones and a jet engine? A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest football manager stamps with pictures of Dave Jones on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Hahaha fair play mate absolute quality.

Cheers, some are old but still apt.

This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"

This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"

This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"

This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"

British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Dave Jones.The company think he is suitable because of his regular points failures.

Recently, Dave Jones offered to send the squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida but they declined. They'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

What is the difference between Dave Jones and the bermuda triangle? A: The bermuda triangle has three points.

Apparantly, Dave Jones is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.-he's been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 20 years.

How many Dave Jones does it take to change a light bulb? A: As many as you like, but they'll never see the light.

What's the difference between a Dave Jones and a broken clock? A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

someone opened their christmas crackers early it seems.

Dave Jones walks into a bar and asks the barman "what do people in these parts drink?"

"PREMIER Larger" says the barman

"Are taking the piss" replies Jones, no says the barman but I assume its BITTER you want...