by SirJimmySchoular » Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:03 am
One of the most moronic shows on British TV and that's up against some pretty stiff opposition .
I never liked the non celeb version because if I wanted to hear the drivel of half wits I could probably do that in any number of pubs or just hang round the local job centre. The celebrity version was okay when they still had actual celebrities on it because it was sometimes mildly interesting to hear opinions from George Galloway or some well known singer or actor but I find that most people seem as mystified as me about who these " celebrities " are.
It happened to be on in the background as I was doing something earlier and, being aware that it had been cancelled I was equally mystified by the self important pirouetting of the freaks presenting it which made me keep thinking " what are you getting so enthusiastic about - you've just got the sack".
Don't know what this crap is about the "house" being left untouched , because it's not a house, it's a load of moveable sets in a big shed in Borehamwood at the back of the Eastenders set.
Best thing would be to leave the presenters, the contestants and especially the annoying Geordie tosser who keeps saying " the daaaarningg room" as if it's some exotic concept that we won't be familiar with, inside the " house" when they lock it up. Maybe they can compete with each other in strange little role playing games and take turns at being "big brother " so they can talk down to the others and treat them like inmates in an abusive care home.
They could pop down to Tescos next to the police station and get a few groceries strictly limited by their success or otherwise in the most recent children's parlour game ( say fifty quids worth between them), like they usually do before they lock them in and let nature take its course.
Whatever happened inside the "house" after that would be no ones fault . We wouldn't know about it and so we need not feel any guilt or compassion for "housemates ".
In 2020 , it could be unlocked by Ant and Dec or someone similar on live tv - possibly a Christmas Special. Any survivors could be helicoptered off for medical treatment and expert psychotherapy after being interviewed in the big brother armchair. If more than one of them have lived through it, there'd be a telephone vote as to which one gets an ambulance with the losers being locked back in for another two years.
I'm sorry, I've gone on a bit I know. It started as an expression of relief that this crap has come to an end,but gradually the idea developed and whilst I've been tapping away at the keyboard I've realised that it's a great idea for a show and I think I'm going to pitch it to Sky Atlantic.
Now, here's the clever bit. They reveal that they've been secret cameras in there all the time, so even if there are no contestants left for the tv show, they can broadcast the tapes and see what happened in there during those last desperate days..... Did they go mental and slaughter each other quite quickly , slowly starve and possibly do poignant pieces to camera at the end not even knowing that the thing was running - maybe they tried to dig tunnels , entered into a suicude pact or even turn to cannibalism in the final days.