Jacob Pearce

Anyone know a guy called Jacob Pearce, goes by the name of Jake, works at Golly Slater? He had been sending my missus some porn he'd written and she's now left and is going out with him. I can't blame her exactly, things were already not great between us, but she had been a bit deceitful about it, and hadn't told me it was going on, despite the fact that we'd spent most of the previous few nights together. The way I found out was she'd left her emails open, and I opened the one from him. I decided I would email him asking him to back off and not to send the porn. I got a message back from him asking /me/ to back off as he was now going out with her. I told him it was news to me, that we had spent the last few nights together. I also told him to be wary if he wanted to get into a relationship with her. This is what I got back from him:


What the f**k did you just f*cking say to me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire UK armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f**k out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the UK and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f*cking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Kingdom military armory and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f*cking dead, kiddo.

Now I'm taking this to be first rate bullshit, probably something he's cut and pasted off the net somewhere. But I just wonder if anyone might know or, or more to the point, might know who this c*nt thinks he is sending me that boll*cks. I've got his email address if anyone's interested.

It's definite bull shit. It's a copy pasta, I've seen it before.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/navy-seal-copypasta
Scroll down a bit, it's in speech marks.

I'm guessing the porn he'd told her he'd written was someone else's work as well. I should leave them to it. She was always full of shit too. Good match really.

As a soldier I can smell bullshit miles away. Graduated top of his NAVY seal Class. A clue there Navy SEALS are US personnel not UK. Top sniper killing 300 is laughable . The top one in the UK is a Royal Marine and his total is 173 (total respect and great marksmanship principles applied). Access to Firearms is very strictly controlled.

He maybe 'handy' but his threats are laughable!

Sounds like the plot summery from American sniper lol

The use of the term 'goddam idiot' would also indicate American bullocks in origin. It's more the fact that he felt the nerve to send me it.

'Gorilla' should be 'guerrilla' surely. Even allowing for Americanism

The use of the term 'goddam idiot' would also indicate American bullocks in origin. It's more the fact that he felt the nerve to send me it.

Just bide your time, and when you do eventually bump into him, plant one on the kunt. Don't know how long you was with that girl for, but judging by what you posted, I'd personally be happy shed fucked off. Get yourself out and about mate....plenty of single girls out there. Try not to stew over it

All sound advice mate. It had been going on about a year and a half. Never that stable though. Everyone's told me I'm better off without her, but hard to move on of course.

You know where he works and you know his hame, go and see him one day after work he can't copy and paste anything then.

Aye, its never nice going through a breakup, but you can feel safe in the knowledge that we all go through it lol its all part of life. The trick is, to keep yourself active, join a gym, plan a holiday ect, put yourself about, but most importantly, shag anything with a pulse. Works every time for me I wouldn't worry about that tool sending you them emails though. He seems like a right dickead

Cheers for the support guys. Probably not the right place to be posting about this on here, but thanks anyway.

If he was sending that sort of stuff in work i.e porn and death threats I'd get him sacked for starters. Then knock him out.....

If it's sent from his works email address send a copy to his employers , but with a cv like that they might be frighten to do anything lol

Seriously he will be out of a job if it is sent from his works email

"but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Kingdom military armory and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent,"



How sad is this? I'm ex-forces and a Pearce and I'm for the

No idea who this joker is but if he was family his feet wouldn't touch the floor before he'd be shown the door.
As for her, if she can't commit to you then she ain't the one for you. Hope you move on quickly.

I would send it to his employer if it is his works email,firstly he may get fired faster than one of the military projectiles he is ranting on about, secondly he would become the f**king laughing stock of his firm, either ways it is a win win situation.

F**k it paste and copy the entire email and then photocopy and run off a hundred or so copies with his name and his employer then paste them all around the City centre and humiliate the the f**king idiot.

Mate the only way hes gna kill u is on cod

If you see a nuclear powered submarine off Lavernock he may well be telling the truth.Gorilla warfare is tough if you run out of bananas too!

Its a copypasta of a meme like this one.

'I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.'

Any updates #noseybastardme

Ha ha so many holes.

He isn't a Navy Seal or anything to do with any Forces. He's a dick.

Has anybody seen or heard from Nick ? Hope Jacob and his seal buddies haven't got to him

Nick was last seen in orange overalls.
Getting bundled in a plane bound for
Guantanamo.

When Golley Slater were questioned about Jacob
They couldn't answer as it was 'classified'