you're favourite quotes from british comedies..

such as only fools and horses, the royle family ...

"a computer, in a bag ? a whole computer in a bag?"

royle family

"you cant park there dave"

only fools and horses

Fawlty towers.

Basil: you started it
German: no we didn't
Basil;'s yes you did you invaded Poland

Del Boy "look at Ghandi, he made one good film, and we never saw him again".....

Del Boy "look at Ghandi, he made one good film, and we never saw him again".....

Anything from Only Fools Horses, too many to think of the top of my head

Trigger was brilliant in OFAH.

Trigger: If it's a girl they're gonna name it Sigourney, after the actress. And if it's a boy they're gonna name him Rodney, after Dave.

Trigger was brilliant in OFAH.

Trigger: If it's a girl they're gonna name it Sigourney, after the actress. And if it's a boy they're gonna name him Rodney, after Dave.

the trigger quotes are brilliant

Trigger: You knew my Grandad Arthur, didn't you Mr Trotter.

Grandad: Yeah, I knew Arthur alright.

Trigger: He was a smashing man, he took care of me when my Mum went.

Rodney: Where was your Dad?

Trigger: He died a couple of years before I was born.

Rodney: As I was saying. On a cold, rainy night in Peckham, someone has arranged for you four to be here in in this room - together. No one knows who. And the most frightening aspect of the whole mystery - no one knows why! Now, think hard. Who would do something like that?

Trigger: Jeremy Beadle?

Rodney: As I was saying. On a cold, rainy night in Peckham, someone has arranged for you four to be here in in this room - together. No one knows who. And the most frightening aspect of the whole mystery - no one knows why! Now, think hard. Who would do something like that?

Trigger: Jeremy Beadle?

Trigger: This old broom has lasted 20 years, she's had 17 new heads and 14 new handles”

Rodney - what are u doing here trig?............trigger - del said he'd give me a lift to the pub.................Rodney - but u have to walk past our flat to get to the pub

Trigger: I don't want to end up a lonely bachelor like my cousin Ronnie. Then again he always had a strange taste in women.
Denzil: In what way?
Trigger: Well, they were men!

U know what would look good on u Rodney?... A Stetson. U know what would look good on u grandad?... A Doberman pinscher

U know what would look good on u Rodney?... A Stetson. U know what would look good on u grandad?... A Doberman pinscher

When Rodney and Del try to pick up birds telling them their pro tennis players..

Woman 'What do you prefer Rodney? Astroturf or Grass?'

Rodney 'I don't know, never spoked Astroturf before'

'I'll buy the sandwiches Rodney, you bought the Rolls'

YES, Minister and YES, Prime Minister...:

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will, in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication, and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and co-ordinated discharge of the functions of government within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."
Jim Hacker PM: "You mean you've lost your key?"


Sir Humphrey: "How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way?"
Sir Arnold: "Sorry, I cannot talk about that."


Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?"
Bernard Woolley: "To defend Britain."
Sir Humphrey: "No, Bernard. It is to make people believe Britain is defended."
Bernard Woolley: "The Russians?"
Sir Humphrey: "Not the Russians, the British! The Russians know it is not."


Jim Hacker PM: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:
- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."
Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"
Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

He is not the Messiah.


HE IS A VERY NAUGHTY BOY.





Gotta have Python in this topic.

Trigger: You knew my Grandad Arthur, didn't you Mr Trotter.

Grandad: Yeah, I knew Arthur alright.

Trigger: He was a smashing man, he took care of me when my Mum went.

Rodney: Where was your Dad?

Trigger: He died a couple of years before I was born.

can't beat a bit of dad's army

German U-boat Captain: I am making notes, Captain, and your name will go on the list; and when we win the war you will be brought to account.
Captain Mainwaring: You can write what you like, You're not going to win the war!
U-boat Captain: Oh yes we are.
Mainwaring: Oh no you're not.
U-boat Captain: Oh yes we are!
Pvt. Pike: [Singing] Whistle while you work, Hitler is a twerp, he's half-barmy, so's his army, whistle while you work!
U-boat Captain: Your name will also go on the list! What is it?
Mainwaring: Don't tell him Pike!
U-boat Captain: Pike!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V3SqxUomwk

Got to have some Peep Show in here as well...

"What was the bad thing?..."

From Father Ted Speed 3

Father Dougal, God Ted that's a awful hairy baby.

'Ginger Tosser'

Game on

"There can be no peace in the world, until Bill Oddie is hunted down and completely destroyed".

Rodney you plonker

You can see the sea, it's over there between the land and the sky.